4.30am in Singapore so still technically the day before Thanksgiving I guess. Not sure if 4.30 is technically the middle or the end of a long night. At 4.30 I just know that I am totally fed up and exhausted from constantly getting up out of bed to walk over to her bed to turn off the alarm on her Sats monitor.
It’s a really loud piercing alarm with a flashing red light that goes off as the number floats down from 90 to 88 to 86 to 84 then usually and most irritatingly goes back up again just as I am out of bed and walking across the room to her. It’s dramatic but not Grey’s worthy – can’t really think of a scene when they are sat by the bed watching alarms go off. Mostly it’s just tiring and frustrating and sadly over the last four years a too often repeated experience.
Chelsea usually sleeps thru all the drama of the alarm and me mumbling and cursing under my breath or out loud as my frustration rises with the 50th alarm of the night or when we have to do suction.
and then at 4.30 am this morning half asleep she said
and I cried, because I love her so much, and in spite of all the indignities she endures everyday and for the at times miserable existence we have, she still has the grace to say thank you at 4.30 in the morning when I am doing something for her.
I often forget in the midst of the challenging moments just how lucky I am to have her and how grateful I am every single day that she is my daughter.
Thanksgiving – to be grateful for the blessings in your life and for the journey you have taken. I love you Chelsea and I am truly thankful for you.